This morning, while sitting for meditation in the usual cross legged (not full lotus, not yet) posture in front of my eastward facing bedroom window…. I was there long enough that the sun peaked over the trees and fell into my lap.
It was pretty amazing and I could do nothing but smile. Not a distraction though, from my meditations which are on the moment. In fact, nature is my best partner, guru, teacher during these morning times. I tune my ears to the birds as they call back and forth from the apple tree to the wild patch along the alley. They are a daily reminder of the simple call of the Divine upon all of us: to be who we are created to be. The birds, well, they can only be birds who call and fly and mate and birth and bathe and play. In the moment. And that is where I long to be when I am focused on the Divine each morning.
The moment, the field of now (as Eckart Tolle calls it) is all we have. We fret over the future but it hasn’t happened yet. We cling to the past but our remembrances are more a collection of stories rather than an indication of who we were created to be.
Who were YOU created to be?
What did God slip into your bloodstream, into your bourning cry, into your eye sight? What were you birthed to feel, to proclaim, to see?
That is all that matters.
The morning sun, falling into my lap as though I am a living breathing Newgrange built to capture the moment of the Sacred Sunlight slipping in through my perfectly aligned doorway to light the inner being.
Have you looked at your lap in meditation? It is a grand shape: much like a bowl, or a natural washout in a big rock, or a large bowl of popcorn, or a soup pot or a cauldron or a copper tub used for apple butter. It is not an empty void but a space that you have filled.
What is in your bowl? What have you put into your space, this ingredient or that ingredient cooking up something? This question was put to me recently. What we have in our bowl, our well, it was postulated, is what we have to offer back to God.
I wasn’t completely sure what was in mine. Perhaps a sludge of something old and mixed, like when you make a stew out of everything in the fridge and then realize it is inedible? So, I decided to clean it out and to be intentional about what I put in it.
What I chose was Gratitude.
And it filled the whole thing up. The whole soup pot, cauldron, popcorn bowl, lap space was filled completely and there is no room for anything else. Not today at least. Not in the past week.
And it made a world of difference. If I enter into an act of creation out of a sense that I am in lack or that what is isn’t quite right, then that is what fills my space. If I enter into my day, my work, every conversation, every meeting, every meeting prep with a word of thanks, of gratitude, I see things differently. And somehow, I don’t know how, this releases who I am created to be.
Ah, Pollyanna….SHE LIVES!!!!
And I’ll take that. Because it makes a difference. What we put our minds to, our energy goes to. It does not mean that we ignore the real peril, the real farce of living, the real pain of loss……but……but….I don’t know what comes after that. If my mind goes back to the birds, I know that they will fly back to be with a companion who has just been hit by a car. They can only be birds in the midst of life and death. I have to look at the birds because I don’t have that answer…my life isn’t currently in peril nor a farce nor painful loss. But I suspect that if the deep warmth of the sun, of the Divine presence, has gone to the core of my bones and soul and emotions that I will survive what comes my way.
But, I don’t look that far out. Today, it is about the sun in my lap.