Like a quiz can tell you who you are

It is amazing how many quizes are out there to tell you who you are. Lots of somebodies have jumped on the creation end of these and I wonder what they get from our deep desire to know ourselves?

Who. Am. I.

It is a fundamental question which seemingly needs answered from without,

through another pair of eyes that SEE us,

a defining connection that gives us hints and clues as to what lurks within our deeper regions of              mind/body/being.

Or so we think. “I look outside myself for self affirmation of who I am.” Seems backwards.

Sure, it is fun to get Leonard from Big Bang Quiz, or Mechtilde from Christian Mystic Quiz, or strawberry from the Fruit Quiz (really?), or Lincoln MKZ from the Car Quiz….of who am I.

Let me help.



Ask yourself why you take these quizes. Ask yourself if you feel known when the answer comes up and you share it. Ask yourself why don’t you know yourself.

There are real ways to know yourself.

There are methods and modalities which bring you to actual contact with your truest self, your own knowing, with the YOU that was created in the very beginning.

Spiritual Direction: it takes a while. Like, a long while. It takes a few months just to get into shared energy space with the director so that she knows how to unlock yourself to yourself.

Coaching: perhaps. Get a good one. Not one who is going to coach you into a way that is not you, but a coach who is going to explore YOUR universe within and send THAT charging into the world.

Soul Realignment: a modality that requires you to suspend your 3D mind and allow the process of prayer and dimensions to unveil your blocks and restrictions. Pretty powerful.

Gilmore-Fraliegh Style Profile or Myers-Briggs, or the Enneagram……….quizes indeed, but built on substance and timeless in accuracy.

Tapping: a favorite for being free and self work. Tap your own meridian points in a certain pattern and you release fear, anxiety, uncertainty, anger… that you can move on with life.

Get it?

No quick quiz will ever tell you who you are. It will only redefine you so that you feel the need to fit in that box.

Find your own box. In fact, as Anna Quinlan says (paraphrase) “…squash the box, flatten it, send it to the recyclers.”

Yes, get rid of the box that anyone hands you if the insides are not your insides. Instead, Grab a platter, perhaps made of gold or carved teak. Or a basket woven with river reeds, or a paper box folded from old maps, or a mug or tea cup or two hands cupped together.

Be your own container for the YOU that is inside of you.

You are worth knowing.



Already listening….


Making it Real

What are your mantras today?

Do you still believe your hopes?

Hopes…things we were so positive about……spiritual insight…..intuition….. that didn’t pan out……Where does it leave us?

(google images)



Ground the spiritual into the physical.


When your hopes are for a partner, and you know all the qualities you require….

get out and meet people by offering those same qualities and the depth of yourself,  ground the hope in the physicality of you out there connecting

When your spiritual guides lead you to believe that abundance is around the corner….

collect your resources with respect, take that job, build that business, ground the guidance in the physicality of like action

When you want to lose weight but you eat for emotional reasons……

grab that bag of cheetos and take it for a long hard walk, ground your comfort in the physicality of your muscles

When you feel like a failure, a fraud, an unknown……

state “I AM” over and over and over until you can finish the sentence “I AM….(whatever positive thing you are)…… !”, ground your shifting beliefs in the physicality of your voice


We do it everyday, this turning the spiritual realm of hope and belief into the physical. Mostly it is in ways we don’t want.

We believe that we are alone,

so we offer only our most superficial self to people we know

We believe that we’ll never be loved

so we choose actions that keep people away

We believe that nothing we do really matters

so we make sure that it doesnt

We hope for a better life

while remaining in the negative patterns of our current life






And then find its physical equivalent,

its here-and-now sister,

its this-world cousin.

Make it real right where you live.


Let’s talk. I’m already listening…..


Going Deeper


Kurt has been talking about putting in a geothermal pump for our heating/cooling needs. Great! I say. Exciting! I say. Who is going to dig the holes? I ask.

He will.

(I think this is Kurt’s image of his digging enterprise)

Ok. Now, I grew up on PBS Educational Rock and learned that you don’t dig without knowing what you might dig into: gas line, electrical line, unexpected lines. But he believes he knows where things run on our property.

My husband is wise, and most certainly able. I never doubt this. But I can’t help think about our own efforts at putting in new ways of being into the property of our soul (Yes, I’m going to push this metaphor).

We all have connections to our highest self. That part of us that is untampered and untouched by human ego, human living, human aches and griefs. That part of us…each of us…that feels the “yes”, hears the voice, senses the way. And when we bump into it…either accidentally or in a purposeful way, we suddenly want to dig up the back yard and install a geothermal heat pump.

I mean, we suddenly want to CHANGE, and change now.


Apparently I am talking about it really loud. It is the place for going deep, for listening deep, for sending down the proving rod that detects what lies below the surface that might explode in our faces. Unlike the back yard and utility lines, we want those explosions….that relief…a certain release…letting go.

It might leave you exhausted, spent, rolled up in a ball. It might leave you freer than every before.

Let’s do this together. Have a witness. Someone who wants to hear it all as it becomes exposed, as it becomes uncovered. Have a witness. Someone who walks right into it with you without fear, or judgement, or disbelief.

There is only room for love in this process.

A soul coach or a spiritual director is a lifeline, a digging guide, a shared shovel, a witness to YOU.

What are you waiting for?

Peace & Get Going,



Inane Conversations

Inane Conversations

I wonder about inane conversations. Those that touch on subjects like zombies, polar vortexes, vampires, and whatever as though there is great significance.

Really, what is the purpose? Is it for communicating when we don’t have other things to say but really want to say something? I get that. Sure. We do it all the time on facebook when we “like” wry wit and a good food picture but pass on by on good, creative writing and thinking.

Why do you pass on by? What goes on in your stomach as you ponder how much time you will give to this meaningful writing or that ponder-producing conversation?

What I really want to encourage is connection. And inane conversations won’t get us there.

Last weekend Kurt and I attended a Chinese Tea Ceremony. As the tea guide walked us through various types of tea, tea pots, tastes, stories of southern California….we found a method of connecting that only requires presence. Well, and tea leaves and water, a proper pot (clay or ceramic depends on the tea) and of course something beautifully simple to sip from.

There is a process to this ceremony, that I only sort of half know. It involves getting the water to the right temp (180 for white and greens, 205 for darker oolongs, black, and  pu erh), stuffing the tiny teapots with the quality leaves, and pouring the water not only INTO the teapot but ONTO the teapot. Its a watery mess, so always have your tray involved. The tea is poured from the small pots into a sharing pot so everyone enjoys the same brewing strength.

There are many moments and steps in the tea ceremony. None need words. All need attention. Each cup placement, pour process, tea appreciation brings blessing and honor to the guests and the host. This process allows for connecting with those you are with at deep levels, and fosters meaningful conversations to come.

We don’t have to have the cute tiny clay snifter cups or the ancient teapot made from a certain rock to connect without words but with attention.

We simply need the attention and the desire to connect.

The desire to connect. I think this is the piece that drives inane conversations. We talk inanely because we want to AVOID CONNECTION. We talk inanely because we DESIRE TO CONNECT but haven’t a clue how to do so.

Kurt and I do well when we use fewer words. When we can hold hands. When we drive in a car together. Dearest friends will allow space for meaningful eye connection….soul connection….in the midst of a public lunch or coffee time. Silence descends once the souls of the gathered have settled into shared space and remember one another.

Please, pay attention to your conversations. Why are you engaged? What are you avoiding or what is your truest desire? If you wish to connect but keep talking about how to survive the zombie apocalypse…..

  • stop…
  • take a big-healing-pause-producing breath…
  • while looking at the person you wish to connect with…
  • and say “Can we change the subject? I’d rather know how you are.”

And go from there.

Connection. It is what will save us in the end.


Peace & Joy



….thinking of the pu erh tea that Turner brought back in traditional fermented brick form from the Yunan Province when he lived in China. We drink it like it is black gold, and always lift a glass to Turner’s health.

Ash Wednesday

 photo credit: Aaron Cress



silky oily dirty smudge of faith and contemplation

placed on my forhead

like kindled coals to keep a friend warm on a cold walk home


signaling the cycle of death and life and coming and going and endings and new……