Mother’s day this year (2015) was pre-empted by a week of open letters on facebook about the hurt people feel who have not mothered in traditional ways and so people need to be careful in their Mothers Days expressions.
Today, I posted a photo
a perfectly captured representation of what it has been like to offer mother to these two men. Their whole lives have been like this. It has been a delicious and savory experience.
Let me say that for me to deny or down play the depth and self discovery, selfless discovery, get out of the way discovery that motherhood has brought me, because others have been denied this or have chosen not to have children, would be dishonest and an injury to my life’s journey.
So I won’t.
Yet, I am also Amma Amy….spiritual mother to many spiritual children. They hold a perfect place in my heart as well. I don’t get to tell them to pick up their clothes or pay off their student loans, but I do get to ask “How is the Spirit moving within you?” “How are these choices for your highest good and highest good for all?” My spiritual children are of all ages.
And I draw my mothering ways from my own mother, who was not perfect, but was perfectly imperfect and loving in ways I’m still discovering. I draw my mothering ways from my best friend’s mothers who opened different doors for me to explore when my own parents could not open those doors.
I draw my mothering ways from sacred texts that urge us toward unbounded love and encouragement, protection if we foresee we need it and comforting support when we are not proactive in our awakeness.
Personal motherhood (with Turner and Bennett) has been a refinery of love, defense, greatest hits and woeful missteps. In their growing years, I worked on Mothers Day, at our local library, so that my children never got in the habit of celebrating their link to me on a specific day. It is a celebration of all the days. (and the library was a quiet perfect place to be on Mother’s Day, as opposed to the local Golden Corral where you can eat till you burst as a way of showing Mom how much we lover her).
Pachamama is the great earth mother of many traditions. She is the literal grounding that is for our health. Her electrical and mineral offerings give us an animated life. She has the ability to mulch the grossest stuff that comes from the garbage bucket into next year’s juicy tomatoes and emerald kale. Now THAT is a mothering model to think about.
Motherhood and Fatherhood is a perfect yin/yang that we see in two coming together, and also in one person holding it all. Male and Female does not apply to this image.
For we are all mothers and fathers, parenting in a cosmic welcoming of growth and formation for ourselves, and a few other companions who move through our wombs or courthouse papers or room assignments or happenstance. There is no norm. Honest to God. Go big in your understanding and making…..full of joy, pain, loss, wonder, jealousy, envy, pity, relief……, leaving the cultural norm of
in the dust bin. None of us need to strive for that. For its a fake. We need only open up to the norm we’ve just created by living our grand and glorious lives.
Here’s to you all.