A friend’s comments lets me know it is snowing somewhere. A fierce snow, just as it is suppose to be in early December. Yet, we in middle Indiana, wait.
It is easy to believe that there something abnormal happening with the change of weather patterns, lack of experiences For as much as we work against the presumptions of culture, we still believe December in Indiana must be like it is on commercials and holiday cards. We put our lived experience up against what we are told should be the norm, and are disappointed when it isn’t looking quite like we think it should.
Shift this to our interior lives. It is easy to fall into a belief that we are on this planet for our own indulgences. We want to believe we have a purpose, or that there is something to learn, and meaning to what our daily lives point to. This is reinforced by the culture of human experience which feeds the book industry for self help, spiritual growth, supernatural encounters, prayers, rituals, beliefs.
What do you believe about your life?
Who told you this?
What do you tell yourself?
What is your experience?
What if it was all true? Even the conflicting stuff? What if you were both amazingly perfect and on a journey of transformation all at the same time? What if your human life on earth is painfully mundane and missing in “normal” human experience and a wild cosmic trip in spiritual development? All at the same time?
I find the landscape of “all at the same time” to be rich and unpredictable and where I want to live most of the time. The contradictions are like two rough edges sanding against each other making something smooth and lustrous….something enigmatic and knowable….something hopeful and arrived at. A back and forth that keeps me waiting at the same time I’m already there and moving on.
In remembering I know that snow does not often come to middle Indiana in early December. My experiences of southwest Michigan, Chicagoland, and Northern Indiana are not the template for my current experience. If I force my now through the ‘scape of my before, I will always be disappointed and looking around questioningly. Rather than being curious and looking around with wonder.
Move into the wonder, the luster, the marvel of your existence. Call a group of friends together to talk about who/what is setting your norm if you are finding yourself constantly disappointed. Share with someone your dreams of your ultimate life, and then talk about where those dreams come from. Explore yourself, to make sure you are waiting for the right thing.
O Voluptuous Spirit of Life,
You hold a care, a hurt, a probability with the tenderness of a Mother.
Cup your warm, flour dusted hands around my hungry life
Whisper your words that shine light in the dark into my waiting ear
Laugh your unexpected newness within my seeking heart.
Your curving body softly enfolding my own pulls me to new truths when the old ones leave me flat and cold. For a moment, in that space of you I am renewed and readied, held and unharmed, awarded and awakened into the real reality that is already around.
Oh glorious Day of Living,
let me live full of expectations, emptied of expectations, filled and emptied….
all at the same time.
In the name of the one who makes new, Amen.
~ prayer by Amy S Gall Ritchie, all rights reserved, free for use with permission