Let’s start with blame.
Blame the mama who couldn’t hold us close. Blame the father who ruled with a belt. Blame the culture that said boys had to be tough and girls had to be pretty. Blame the church for teaching us that Jesus only seeks the sinner. Blame our destroyed self worth on anyone else. everyone else.
It is a process.
A process of revealing, of seeing, of believing, of recognizing that our worth is stuck to us like skin like vessels like something that is never going away because it is not. It is not. Our worth is never destroyed.
Oh really. Never destroyed. It is buried, layered, ignored, disrespected, invisible, disbelieved, flipped upside down but it is never destroyed. Our worth is never destroyed but covered by stinking rotting garbage left at the side of our home our being our self worth until we believe that the garbage belongs and the green grass does not.
It is a process.
A process of revealing, of seeing, of believing, of recognizing that YOU ARE WHOLE. That YOU matter. That you are beautiful, worthy, loved, found, uncovered, seen, held, known. You are known and worth knowing.
Those things that happened? Those words lobbed at you? Those misteachings that said you were not smart enough nice enough sorry enough strong enough quiet enough pure enough perfect enough…….yes they happened. But they are not you.
Those things that happened? Those words whispered to you? Those hushed tones that said your body should not know pleasure, that your gender was second class, that your love shouldn’t be like that, that you shouldn’t sing too loud or you’ll stand out, that you didn’t get birthday celebrations because it would be a sin for you to feel too special….that really happened, but they are not you.
Stupid whispers whispered by generations of whisperers who never knew they had worth.
You have worth. You are worth. You breath you talk you think you love you wear crazy clothes you are sickly you are a B student (or a C or a D student) you are always missing the important detail, you laugh too loud, you sing off key, you believe that God is love and focusing on sin is ridiculous……you ARE worth, you HAVE worth. Because you are.
It is that simple. Like waking up one day and throwing off the clods of dirt piled over you, layers of quilts suffocating you, collections of words fall at your feet scattering their letters into a puzzle just yearning to make new words.
Words that will stick. Words that will heal. Words that will reveal believe see recognize that because you ARE you are worth the whole world.
This is the Sacred moving and breathing and undressing you from the worn gray garments of the Worthless Prison, painting your skin with sloppy acrylics in periwinkle cerulean, tangerine, lime colors that glow in the dark so that you can always see them. That jumble of whispered freakish words turned into Love Joy Respect Truth Real. Because we are many things and growing things and things to slough off and things to wave our flag at wave our fists at proclaim at the top of our lungs and into the deepest reaches of our very souls.
Worth that sticks. Worth that heals. Worth that will reveal believe see recognize that because you ARE you are worth the whole world.
This is the real you.